Put A Smile On Your Face: One-Liners

Even in a busy life, a smile makes you feel good 🙂
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— When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn’t talk for a year and a half.

— I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

— The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

— I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first.

— If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make vegetable stew.

Thanks to Arcamax.com

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Put A Smile On Your Face: Late

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot.
He had never missed a day and was never late.

Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.

Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent.
He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, “I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself.”

The boss said, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?”

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