Archive for humor

Put A Smile On Your Face: Marriages, Children, Making Friends

If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach  them good manners.

The best vitamin for making friends……B1.

What passes as a woman’s intuition, is usually nothing more than a man’s transparency.

Marriages are made in heaven.  But, so are thunder and lightning.

Put A Smile On Your Face: State Capitals

Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

“I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do…I memorized all the state capitals.”

One of the guys, of course, said “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?”

“N”, she answered.

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Put A Smile On Your Face: Interesting Facts 1

– 101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don’t die throughout the movie. (Wait, what about Sleeping Beauty, which also has both parents surviving in the film?)

– ‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

– The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland’s baby daughter, Ruth.

– Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.

– Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.

– A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a “flink.” A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of officers is called a mess. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament.

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Put A Smile On Your Face: One-Liners

Even in a busy life, a smile makes you feel good 🙂

— When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn’t talk for a year and a half.

— I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

— The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

— I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first.

— If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make vegetable stew.

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